Puzzle Answers
PUZZLE ON PAGE 86
Page 48
August 30, 2013
The Dispatch/Maryland Coast Dispatch
The Adventures
Of Fatherhood
here is no such thing as
privacy anymore around
my house.
I accepted that reality
way back when my boys
started walking, but the
reality of it continues to
hit home on a daily ba-
sis. Nonetheless, there are times
when I am surprised by the fact a-
lone time at my house seems im-
possible to come by. The latest ex-
ample came at 5 the other morn-
ing.
My kids are early risers. They
always have been, but they also
go to bed early. It's an equal trade-
off, I think. They are in bed by 8
just about every night, but they are
also up in the morning by 6 most
days.
Therefore, the kids getting up
early in the morning is expected,
but this week I think Beckett set a
new record.
I was in the shower, hoping to
get an early start on some work at
home before the kids woke up.
Those hopes were dashed in short
order.
In his typical early-morning en-
ergetic way, Beckett flew into the
bathroom and used the facilities.
We talked for a minute before he
left the room as quickly as he ar-
rived. Since it was still dark out, I
was hoping he was headed back
to bed. I figured he was not, but
the hope was there.
Within a minute or two, he barg-
ed back in and flung the shower
door open. He was standing there
with the iPad in his hands about to
walk into the shower asking me
why a certain App kept crashing on
him.
When I asked him to give me a
few minutes to take care of busi-
ness in the shower, he refused to
oblige. Instead, he got naked and
joined me in the shower (fortunate-
ly without the iPad), firing off a ser-
ies of questions and requests, in-
cluding one involving shaving his
legs to remove the blonde hair that
has magically appeared over the
summer.
By the time we got out of the
shower and went downstairs, the
clock read 5:22 a.m. That was a
unique start to the day.
nother thing that doesn't
exist anymore at the
house are unlocked
doors.
Exterior doors are
what I'm talking about
here. All exits have to
be locked at our house
because we have two "jail-break-
ers," as I like to call them.
Nothing gives my kids more
pleasure than running out a door
against their parents' wishes. The
boys aren't really looking to go
anywhere. They just like to get out-
side and wait for our reaction, it
seems.
We tried all the safety locks and
kid devices you can attach to door
knobs, but none of them did the
trick. That's why one day I came
home and found Pam installing
deadbolts at the top of all our
doors.
I thought it was extreme at that
time, but like most things, moms
are usually right when it comes to
matters related to the kids.
The good news is it worked be-
cause now the boys think every
door leading outside, no matter
where they are, has a lock at the
top and they don't even try to get
out.
pre-back to school wa-
ter park day has be-
come a tradition for us,
and by the looks of Jolly
Roger last Friday it ap-
pears we are not alone.
The kids love going
to water parks about as much as
anything else we do. For them, I
think it edges out a beach day. For
us, the beach wins out because
taking two kids, ages 5 and 3, to a
water park can be an arduous
task. However, it's also a lot of fun
for Pam and me.
This was a big summer for
Beckett because it was the first
time he was tall enough to ride on
just about all the slides at Jolly
Roger. Last summer, he just bare-
ly missed out and was bummed
about it.
Earlier this summer, just Beck-
ett and I went for a birthday party
to Jolly Roger and we had a blast.
I had just as much fun as him and
loved seeing his face as he went
down the huge slides for the first
time.
The kid is an absolute water
bug and loved it all. I was excited
for him and me as well.
Last Friday we made it a family
day and that meant Pam and I
would be taking turns going with
Beckett on the slides while one
stayed with Carson in the little kid
areas. That was fine because
Beckett can be exhausting and dif-
ficult to keep up with on several
fronts.
While certainly the day was
more fun for Beckett, the baby of
the house had a ball as well. It was
just a different kind of fun for him.
Rather than going down the big
slides, he was entertained with the
so-called "kiddie" areas and all the
stuff they offered. Actually at one
point, when I pointed to Carson to
see if he wanted to go on a big
slide just to see his response, he
shook his head in a furious no
fashion, making it clear he was not
interested at all in going on them.
He actually fell down in the pool
from shaking his head so vigor-
ously.
The best part about a busy and
full day at the water park is how
exhausted the kids are and not to
mention their parents. Carson was
asleep before we left the parking
lot, and Beckett didn't say a word
the entire ride home.
I think the lights went complete-
ly dark at the house that night by
10. Yes, Friday nights are quite dif-
ferent now than they used to be.
(The writer is the publisher and editor of
The Dispatch
. He and his wife, Pamela, are
proud parents of two boys. This weekly column
examines their transition into parenthood and
all that goes along with it. E-mail any
thoughts to editor@mdcoastdispatch.com.)
T
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