DARE TO CARE BULLY-PROOFING OUR SCHOOL Saltus invited Canadian antibullying team Dare to Care to visit the School last fall to deliver a dynamic programme to faculty, parents and students. We spoke with Dare to Care founder Lisa Dixon-Wells about how bullying has changed in the 21st Century. What is bullying? Bullying is repetitive, intentional negative actions directed towards one individual or a small group. It is intentional in that the bully is very aware of emotional and/or physical damage they are doing with their words and actions. It is also repetitive, in that the behaviour must be repeated over a period of time before it will be considered more than just peer conflict. Only four percent of bullying is reported and therefore most incidents go without intervention. Does bullying happen more in certain types of kids or schools, or does it cross socio-economic lines? Bullying is one of the only social issues that has no boundaries. Regardless of the socio-economic status of the school, size of school, or cultural diversity of the school, bullying plays a very pervasive and hurtful role in all school populations. Children with learning disabilities and children lacking in basic social skills are usually the first to be targeted and you can find these children in every school. S A LT U S M A G A Z I N E Has bullying become worse in recent years, or are we just hearing more about it? There are three major trends in the last 10 years: First, there are more challenging behaviours in schools than ever before (bullying is one of them); second, the age in which kids are participating in these challenging behaviours has dropped significantly. Media plays a major role in this factor because kids are exposed to more violence and sexual content through TV, movies and the Internet. Third, the maliciousness behind bullying has become increasingly harsh. With the advent of Facebook and other socialnetworking forums, no one is immune to the cowardly and viral attacks made via computers and cell phones. Can bullying be worse in a small island community? The impact bullying has on the victim is far more severe in small communites such as Bermuda. In large cities like my own (Calgary, Alberta), there are over a million people. If a child is being bullied at school, they can at least go to another part of the city to join a sports team or take music lessons, etc. In other words, they can disappear in the big city and find friends outside their school community. In a small place such as Bermuda, students really don’t have many options. How can parents recognise their child is being bullied? Dare to Care facilitator Dwayne Peace with Headmaster Ted Staunton (left) and Deputy Head Malcolm Durrant Parents need to open the lines of communication with their children—don’t assume your children will come to you for help. Let your children know that bullying is everywhere, and share your own stories of being bullied or watching it happen. We need to make it a less taboo and shameful subject to talk about. If you notice any personality or physical changes in your child, please start asking questions. How does media play a part? By age 12, kids have witnessed 20,000 murders and over 80,000 injurious assaults on television alone. Children’s programmes on networks such as YTV, Family Channel and Teletoons contain between 73 to 89 percent violent and/or sexual content. These statistics do not include exposure to violence and sexual promiscuity on video games, movies and the Internet. The real issue is that media is creating a society that is de-sensitised to the pain and suffering of others. Parents need to be more aware of programmes their children are watching, the games they are playing, and the websites they are visiting. We need to start being parents again and not trying to be our children’s best friends. What are the roles of parents and schools to stop bullying? Parents must work with schools, and not get defensive and aggressive. If only four percent of bullying is ever reported, there is a lot going on that teachers and administrators don’t know about. We need to make it clear that since students are the eyes and ears of that school, they have a responsibility to report incidents of bullying immediately. Silence is not an option! There is no point in having them do this, however, if parents and staff don’t take reports of bullying seriously. 23 CYNTHIA LANCER-BARNES