Of Fatherhood
could talk, they would be
screaming in pain.
stroying the house and the
contents within it.
cite by number how many valu-
ables, like picture frames, vases
and collectibles, the kids have bro-
ken in the house over the last five-
plus years.
decorate the entire house because
of the little ones' curiosity and pen-
chant for destruction. Soon e-
nough, after one item was doomed
followed by another, her prized
possessions started to disappear
slowly but surely, but she remained
reluctant to stash everything away.
least mildly damaged, she acqui-
esced but not without some mo-
ments of frustration over why the
boys would not leave things alone.
loss of these valuables, I tend to
get hot and bothered more by the
fact the house is clearly showing
the wear and tear from the boys'
abusive and careless behavior.
After all, there is only so much fur-
niture than can be relocated to
cover up damage.
prise, but what has been startling
has been the sheer volume of
damage inflicted on our house over
the last five years. Our house was
built in 1908 and it's showing every
single one of those years, mainly
as a result of being home to two
boys ages 5 and 3.
and careless ways, such as Beck-
ett's bedroom door which he has
brought off its hinges twice by
swinging on it in Spiderman fash-
ion. My last repair seems to be
the longest screws I could find at
the hardware store.
morning, which was one of those
starts to the day that had me seek-
ing a restart by 7 in the morning. I
know things are off to an inauspi-
cious beginning when I am ex-
hausted by the time I get to work.
Carson had yanked down the cur-
tains. That would not have been a
huge deal, but he had actually rip-
ped the curtain rod and the mounts
directly off the wall as well as two
large chunks of dry wall with it.
covered his eyes and shook his
head no furiously. He obviously did
not want to see my reaction, partic-
ularly because this was the second
time in a week he had done it, and
there were repercussions for him
the first time.
room. For that matter, he was actu-
ally reluctant to get out from under-
neath the curtain, which he was us-
ing as a blanket for himself and nu-
merous stuffed animals. It appear-
ed to me he was having a good
time before I walked in, and that
aggravated me further.
ered by a hand and the other drag-
ging a Winnie the Pooh stuffed ani-
mal (misery loves company, per-
haps). Of course, Beckett was
standing by applauding Carson's
achievement, growing my agitation
even further.
I even hung the curtains again. I
quickly realized if I wanted the kid
to ever sleep he needed them be-
cause the room gets a ton of light.
am the least handy person I know.
An example is a broken window-
this spring swinging a bat around
pretending to be Luke Skywalker.
The good news is that will not be
evident months from now.
that the kids have caused to our
walls. I can't even recall how most
of them occurred, but my guess is
Pam can reflect accurately on
each.
room, I counted 10 areas that will
eventually need cosmetic repairs.
and some scrapes from the kids
pulling and yanking on them over
the years. Other areas it's clear
were a result of kids banging into
the walls while riding toy trucks. It's
noticeable in some places the
walls have been scraped with toy
cars and the like, such as one in-
stance when there is a perfectly
shaped indentation left from an air-
plane propeller. In other areas, it
looks as if crayon remnants can be
seen, despite obvious scrubbing.
having to be ordered. For instance,
we are presently down two kitchen
drawers, one from Beckett stand-
ing on it and breaking through and
the other from Carson trying to do
chin-ups from it. The end result
here is the kitchen being a source
of embarrassment because buying
replacement kitchen drawers is not
as easy, or cheap, as one might
expect. That's what we call an on-
going project.
but I was reminded watching Car-
son inadvertently wipe grape jelly
on the wall the other day it should
not come anytime soon.
examines their transition into parenthood and
all that goes along with it. E-mail any
thoughts to editor@mdcoastdispatch.com.)
has announced that he will bring his critically
acclaimed Neil Diamond Tribute Show to stage
in West Ocean City as part of his Summer
National Tour Schedule. Denny Diamond has
played in venues all over the U.S. as a unique
family act with his two sons.