Raising Socially Responsible Children By Danielle Rice hat’s your greatest hope for your children? For mine, I’d say that they become well-adjusted adults who are happy. I’m sure happiness is at the top of many parental wish lists. Often, myself included, parents will search for material things that they think will bring their children happiness: a better job so the family has more disposable income, the latest toys or electronics, new clothes, a family vacation. While money and material possessions can certainly make life easier and more enjoyable, research and experience tells us that money and material possessions alone aren’t the ticket to a happy life. So, what is? “One of the primary sources of happiness and the development of character in our children is altruistic behavior or adaptive social engagement,” says Rick Ackerly, author of The Genius in Every Child. “Altruism is associated with happiness and elevated self-esteem both in childhood and adolescence. Children who engage in selfless giving appear to reap the same benefits that altruistic adults reap. Helping others in their community who are less fortunate provides children, especially adolescents, a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives, qualities linked to happiness in adult life.” In addition, to be fully prepared to participate as active, contributing members of our society and world our children need to learn to be responsible for themselves, others, and the environment. This deeper level of responsibility or social responsibility includes an awareness and growing appreciation of our connectedness to and W Jack and Amber doing food collection during a fall 2011 event. interdependence on each other and our environment. “We are social beings. Being happy and successful in life requires being thoughtful of others, reading other minds, finding common interests, harmonizing your wants with theirs, and engaging in collective action. Homo sapiens would never have gotten this far if we weren’t naturally good at cooperation,” notes Ackerly. Start at Home By creating a caring and loving home environment, teaching children respect and empathy, and helping them learn that actions and decisions do impact other people, parents are building the foundation for social responsibility. Daily family life presents many teachable moments to engage in discussions about social responsibility. When a child does something that hurts a sibling, parents can help her to reflect on how the other person feels as a result of what they did and how they might make amends or do things differently next time. When a child outgrows a toy or piece of clothing, suggest that he donate it to a family shelter or give it to a neighbor. These small daily actions can reinforce the lesson of caring for others and strengthen the feeling of interconnectedness that leads to social responsibility. Model Behavior Parents also teach their children about social responsibility by being socially responsible themselves. There is evidence that suggests that parents who act as role models and who participate in volunteering and community service have children and teens that do the same. A 2005 national study from the Washington, DC-based Corporation for National and Community Service, Building Active Citizens: The Role of Social Institutions in Teen Volunteering, Brief 1 in the Youth Helping America Series, reported that “teens with parents who volunteer were almost twice as likely to volunteer and nearly three times more likely to volunteer on a regular basis.” Even a very young child can participate in a walk-a-thon or ride along in a stroller. Schoolage children can help to collect money for a charity or have a bake sale or lemonade stand. Tweens and teens can take more of an active role, including organizing fundraisers, volunteering time in the community, or writing articles or blogs to help promote special causes. Volunteering is more fun when it’s for a cause you believe in, so help children to explore their passions and find causes that align with their interests. A child who loves animals could volunteer at an animal shelter, donate a portion of their allowance to the SPCA, or walk an elderly neighbor’s dog. A nature lover might pick up litter in the community, help with the family recycling, or plant an herb garden (and then share the cuttings with family, friends, and neighbors). Building Stronger Communities Engaging in socially responsible behaviors can also elevate a child’s self-esteem, giving them a positive self-image and helping them lead a happier life well beyond childhood. By cultivating a sense of social responsibility we can teach our children to think beyond themselves and their own immediate needs. Connecting with the larger world through community service and caring for the environment does much to strengthen the child, the family, and the community at large. It teaches children not only the benefits of giving but also that one person can make a difference, and that one small act can make the world a better place. Danielle Rice is the publisher and former editor of Piedmont Family Magazine. 4 Piedmont Family Magazine 2013 • Issue 2