Teen Advice: 5 Tips to Navigate Difficult Times By Larry H. Hoffer lthough several decades separate me from my teen years, I have only recently come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t nearly as wise as I thought I was when I was 11, or 14, or even 18 years old. It’s not that I was willfully disobedient or rude, but rather I just felt like I knew more than enough to make it through life. Most of the time, I knew when I needed to listen to my parents, teachers, or other authority figures so as not to find myself in complete trouble. And truth be told, I didn’t do too badly following this simple philosophy, although the wisdom of hindsight certainly would have helped through the rough spots. As a teen everyone is more than willing to offer advice on how best to live, especially during those pre-teen, tween years. And no matter how true or appropriate the advice, I for one generally paid it little heed when it was delivered from my parents or other authority figures. However, when that same advice came from someone I admired—a classmate in a higher grade, the sibling of a peer, even friends of the family—it seemed infinitely wiser and, yes, cooler, so I may have listened a little more closely. While it may be frustrating, it’s okay if your children don’t always listen to the advice you give them. It’s only natural to believe you know more than your parents, even if you think they’re reasonably cool. But since the challenges that preteens A and teens face seem utterly insurmountable at times, you may wish there was someone to offer them advice they might be willing to listen to. Here are some tips from a middle-aged adult reminiscing of his youth that you can give to your children, tell them they are from a successful adult who wasn’t considered one of the cool kids—maybe they will listen. The advice I have to offer may be exactly the same as what you would offer, but it’s amazing how hearing something from your parents and then hearing it from someone else—even someone you don’t know—really makes a difference. Hopefully one of these items will resonate for your children in a way it might not have otherwise. 1. Grammar Counts While you may never need to diagram a sentence ever again, don’t tune out completely when learning things like grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Nothing separates you from the rest of the world—in a bad way—if you can’t tell a “your” from a “you’re,” and forgetting a hyphen can make the difference between your seeming helpful (“I re-sent that”) or whiny (“I resent that”). (I make no promises that you’ll find geometry useful in later life, however.) 2. Mistakes Happen—to Everyone The only people who get ridiculed for a mistake are those “While it may be frustrating, it’s okay if your children don’t always listen to the advice you give them.” If you feel like no one cares, someone does. If you feel like no one is listening, speak louder and someone will hear. I’ve been there, and all I can say is, never give up. There is too much ahead of you. 5. Put Family First As much as you’d rather be anywhere else doing anything else than spending time with your relatives, don’t pass up that opportunity. Because one day you’ll wish they could see the person you have become, that you could share all of your accomplishments with them, and they may no longer be there. And that regret will hurt more than you’ll know. Larry H. Hoffer is an aspiring writer who currently works as a chief of staff for a local association. who can’t laugh it off and pretend like the embarrassing things don’t matter one bit. Even if you are dying on the inside, just pretend like you meant to do whatever it was, simply for the laughs. 3. Pay Attention to the Quiet Kids Don’t spend so much energy trying to be exactly like the cooler or more popular people. It’s the ones you don’t pay attention to who will wind up on CNN, creating the next big social media tool, or running the company you’ll dream of working for. Most of the so-called popular people will have had bad plastic surgery or be bald within 10 or15 years, and you’ll wonder why you ever bothered with them. 4. It does get better If you feel like no one understands you, someone does. Calling all independent thinkers. With summer camp sessions for students from PK to Grade 12, including Lego® robotics, art explosion, and training sessions from Parisi Speed School trainers, Highland School offers something for everyone! For a complete list of summer camp options, call 540.878.2750 or visit us online at www.highlandschool.org. Camps run June 24-August 23 (no camp the week of July 4) Independent thinkers welcome. visit us on... 16 Piedmont Family Magazine 2013 • Issue 2