Teens & MANNERS By Danielle Rice I t’s a busy, and often times, rude world we live in. In the rush of daily life, it seems many adults often forget little courtesies and the awareness of others that Ms. Post mentions. We’re bombarded with images of ill-mannered adults on reality television, in the media, and on Facebook. Sometimes it seems that rudeness has become acceptable in our society, or, at least, just a fact of life that we must deal with. And yet, we want our teens to be wellmannered and expect that they’ll know what this means? As with any skill, learning to incorporate good manners into daily life takes knowledge and practice. Here are some ways you can make your home a more well-mannered place and set your children on the path to being well-mannered, courteous adults. Be a Role Model You may feel like your teen never listens to you, but she does. And more important, she is watching what you do. Do you fume impatiently at other drivers or call them names under your breath? Do you make comments about other people’s appearance, choices, or actions? Do you lose patience with service people, such as waiters, store clerks, or online customer support? You may not even be aware of these things, but your teen is likely noticing – and filing away the information about how to act as an adult when faced with stressful or challenging situations. So, try putting on a smile and being more patient with others. Watch the words you use and what you choose to “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” - Emily Post comment on. Be a positive role model for your teen. Teach the Right Behaviors The primary parental responsibility is to be your child’s teacher, advocate, and guide to adulthood–not to be his friend. When you see your child using poor manners or being disrespectful to others, it’s better to tell him and help him correct this behavior. Parents might be afraid of hurting their child’s self-esteem or embarrassing him, but in the bigger world beyond the safe haven of home, your child will have to know how to control his behavior and manage the consequences of his actions. Teaching proper and socially acceptable behavior at home is key to raising well-mannered teens who will make you proud in public. Monitor the Media Reality television, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram-it’s all about every mundane detail of life, including, all too often, very bad behavior. The interactive nature of today’s media also encourages Teens & Manners continued on page 23 10 Essential TABLE MANNERS Wash your face and hands before sitting down to a meal. 2. Sit down properly in the chair, with your feet in front of you, napkin on your lap– and stay seated for the entire meal. 3. Wait until all people are seated and the food is served to everyone prior to eating. 4. Don’t reach across the table for food, condiments, or napkins. If you need something, ask to have it passed to you– and use please and thank you. 5. Chew with your mouth closed. 6. Participate in discussions, but don’t dominate. 7. Stay seated until everyone has finished eating. Ask an adult for permission to be excused before leaving the table. 8. Clear your own place at the table, and ask adults they would like you to clear their plate as well. 9. Try at least a bite of each food offered (unless there is an allergy problem). Never criticize or complain about the food. 10. Thank the cook for the delicious meal and hospitality. 1. 2013 • Issue 2 Piedmont Family Magazine 21