Competition continued from page 8 best, if they end up losing, they can feel like failures and miss out on valuable lessons that could have been learned. According to MacDonald, unhealthy competition is seen even at the grade school level during winning celebrations. “Most conflicts stem from loud celebrations as the younger students do not know how to contain themselves when they have success. This creates hurt feelings for the other team.” Competition in the Home Competition is not only academic or athletic. Sibling rivalry can bring forth extreme displays of competition to earn a parent’s attention or affection. When one child excels in an area where another lags behind, it is easy for a competitive atmosphere to be created. Parents need to be aware of competition among siblings and make every effort to create a supportive environment where siblings encourage each other’s strengths. Successes can then be shared among family members. This technique helps to refocus a competitive rivalry to one of encouraging cheerleading. Competition in Life Unfortunately, competition doesn’t end with the pomp and circumstance of graduation. Throughout life, our children will be faced with instances when they will excel and “win,” and other times when their best efforts just won’t be good enough. MacDonald suggests that children try to control their reactions and negative emotions when faced with failure to help them better cope later in life with unsuccessful job interviews, tight deadlines, and even time management. Parents need to be honest with their children and share examples of their own failures. Children should not be raised in an environment where they believe failure never happens as this incorrect assumption only creates unrealistic expectations. Losing There is a wealth of opportunity to learn and grow when a child loses. MacDonald tells his students that life is not always fair. “Sometimes you don’t deserve what you receive but you must learn from failure and use unfortunate results to motivate you to succeed” says MacDonald. He also suggests that students learn more from losing than winning. When you lose, you are able to self-assess your performance and find strategies that will allow for positive outcomes in the future. In the end, it is necessary to understand why competition is important in life as it keeps one putting forth his or her best effort, which can lead to advancements in society, especially in the workplace. However, it is also important to encourage our children to do their best regardless of whether winning is an outcome. They should focus their efforts on continuous improvement rather than the final outcome because with continuous improvement, they will always win. Aimée O’Grady is a four-time Marine Corps Marathon finisher who learned the art of losing gracefully in high school when she earned track and field medals during Novice Meets, which excluded the fastest runners. Today, she can be found running Warrenton neighborhoods during the warmer months. How Does your child meet expectations for ….first words....more words....conversation? communicating? well is your cHild Happy, Confident, and Socially Engaging. What was Your First Word? tHe Heart of communication for kids Colette Reynolds, M. A. CCC Speech Language Pathologist 183-4 Keith St., Warrenton, VA 20186 • (540) 347-1239 Speech Assessment and Therapy www.talk2colette.com 10 Piedmont Family Magazine 2013 • Issue 5