The Rewards of Grandparenting M By Mary Kasky y first grandchild arrived, As grandparents, my husband as babies often do, in the and I have learned to bend. If middle of the night. I the grandkids can’t be with us remember huddling in bed with for a holiday, we’ll hide Easter my husband, the phone between eggs around the yard in June, us, as we listened to the details of and shoot off the 4th of July our first grandchild’s entry into fireworks over Labor Day. We the world. This was the beginning don’t want to miss a moment of of a new act in our lives… one tradition and celebration with that many in my generation are these remarkable children of experiencing. As we leave behind our children, so we make them the demands of parenthood, we happen wherever and whenever are left with more time, patience, time allows. and even silliness to enjoy our Our grandchildren remind us grandchildren. I like to think of it to play! As a mother of three as our bonus round. adult sons, I now have granddaughters who As we leave behind Just when we’re at a place in our lives encourage me to put on my fairy wings the demands of when our household is emptying, and our and fly, for the pure joy of it. Playing dolls parenthood, we are roles changing, something amazing occurs: and “house” were not part of my parental our children have children. Our sons and rituals, with a house full of boys. But my left with more time, daughters become parents. If we seize the granddaughters happily remind me what it’s patience, and even opportunity, grandparenthood can open our like to be a little girl, and soon I’m collecting eyes to experiences and feelings not to be leaves and twigs to build fairy houses with silliness to enjoy our missed, and lessons to be learned. As Adair them. For my husband, this can mean grandchildren. Lara says in The Granny Diaries, “Grandkids cuddling with a grandchild to watch the bring you into a sweeter, slower present. morning cartoons instead of burying his head They show you the future at a time when a in the newspaper. We are given permission to lot of your friends are thinking about the past. And they take you act as silly and carefree as we like, and to play and laugh along with back to childhood – theirs, the Parents’, your own: a three-time our grandchildren. Research has shown that laughter is a great admittance to wonderland.” stress-reducer, and who doesn’t need that? One of the joys of grandchildren is their unconditional love. Grandchildren encourage us to let go of our fears and try new They accept us as we are, lumps and all. In fact, they make us things. Whether we’re accepting a fashion dare or zipping down a feel smarter, stronger, and more important than anyone else, and giant water slide, they teach us to become less inhibited and bolder. by doing so, they bring out the best in us. They love us without We will do things for our grandchildren that we wouldn’t consider reservation, forgive us readily if we mess up, and repeatedly tell us attempting for anyone else. When our granddaughter Emily that we are the best, all of this at a time in our lives when we are finally met the height requirements for the adult roller coaster at often beginning to feel less valuable to society. nearby Busch Gardens, she chose my husband and me to join her. How else do grandchildren affect us? In lots of amazing ways. My stomach was dropping with each twist and turn, and Emily They teach us to slow down and savor each moment, and screamed in my ear at a glass-breaking pitch the whole ride, but on to open our eyes to things long taken for granted. This might her face was a huge smile. I wouldn’t have traded that experience mean appreciating the intricate workings of God’s creatures as a for anything. grandson shows off the earthworm curled around his finger. Or We all need love and human contact to sustain us as we grow being reminded of the magnificent places we can visit through older, and if we let them, our grandchildren provide an ample the power of the written word while reading a story together. supply of both, while helping us to remain positive and forward Barbara Graham in the July 2011 edition of AARP, comments, looking. The ways in which we can learn from them are as varied “Adults spend hours doing yoga and practicing meditation in order as one child from another. As a very wise person once said, “a to feel truly present, while kids… live in the here and now. We grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was simply must be in the here and now if we hope to keep up.” It’s empty.” as simple yet challenging as letting go of the worries and concerns Mary Kasky is a retired geriatric social worker. She is married with three about tomorrow and embracing the joys of today. adult sons and seven grandchildren. Mary lives in Warrenton and enjoys Grandchildren inspire – or perhaps require – us to be flexible. reading, writing, travelling, and spending time with her grandchildren. 4 Piedmont Family Magazine 2013 • Issue 3