Wedding Essentials 2 0 1 4 |
105
GIVE UP ALL YOUR OUTSIDE
INTERESTS AND BE SURE YOUR
SPOUSE DOES TOO.
If you love live
theatre and your mate loves movies, don't even
try to discover what your partner finds so
fascinating about that passion. Put down your
spouse's hobbies and activities and refuse to go
with your mate, ever. If your partner goes alone,
play the "poor abandoned me" card. With any
luck you'll make your spouse feel so guilty
there can be no chance of enjoying outings and
you'll both end up at home, miserable.
BECOME A REPEAT OFFENDER.
First
marriage ended in divorce? If you
remarry, watch your new spouse for any
hint of bad behaviour that was like your ex's.
Overreact when you discover a scintilla of
similarity. Plus, throw the ex's good behaviour in
your partner's face when something she does
isn't quite up to the previous spouse's standard.
"If my lazy, good-for-nothing ex could cook a
decent meal, how come you can't?" And
remember not to learn from any mistakes you
made during that first marriage.
KEEP BUSY IN ACTIVITIES THAT DO
NOT INVOLVE YOUR SPOUSE.
Become the most obsessive house-
cleaner on your block. Repaint your guest
room every few months and spend weeks
finding the perfect accent pillow. Make lots of
commitments, with friends, family, or that
nice person you just met at Tim's. Become a
Google master but don't share any good stuff
you find when surfing the net. Take vacations
with friends, not with your partner. As a last
resort to avoid face time with your spouse, take
up new hobbies; so you aren't interested in
creating mosaic masterpieces--do it anyway,
preferably somewhere where you can't be
reached by phone.
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