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It is not uncommon to try to figure out neg-
ative thoughts and try to force yourself to think dif-
ferently because you feel bad, but that never works.
There are no answers in bad feelings, and more
thought about a bad feeling only makes it worse.
I'd like to invite you to play with this idea.
Think of a scary thought as if it were a common
school bully. This may seem silly but consider it. If
the school bully teased you, would you go to him
for his help and support? Would he try to trick you
and make you think he was your friend? Yes, that's
what bullies do. But, after enough embarrassment,
you would probably figure out that he was trying
to trick you and you would do everything in your
power to avoid him. That is what is different in me.
I treat my bad, scary, cancer thoughts the same
way as the school bully. When I get caught up in
scary thoughts I stay away from trying to find an-
swers where the trouble originated. Like the bully,
scary thoughts can trick you, but again, there is no
solution in troubled thinking. When I learned how
thought works, I was no longer fazed by the fact
that the cancer may have progressed to the brain
and my life shortened. Did fear come up? Yes, of
course I had moments where the thought of more
cancer scared me to tears, but I knew that those
thoughts are not to be taken seriously. There are
no answers in my insecure thinking. In the past, I
engaged, believed and respected those scary, inse-
cure thoughts like they were my best friend. Now,
when I think about the future, the pain and suffer-
ing or leaving my children, I treat those feelings and
thoughts like a bully and I avoid them. I don't both-
er with trying to change my thinking from negative
to positive because thoughts change faster when I
don't engage them. I now know that my fear-filled
mind settles down naturally and innately when my
intellect does not get involved! What a relief that a
fear-filled mind can settle down and a quiet mind
naturally emerges and leads me to a new idea and
a different feeling about my current situation that
fosters hope and wisdom.
So, the next time you have that debilitat-
ingly scary, cancer-related thought, remember
that anything you do to fix, change or manipulate
that thought will keep it there longer, feed it, and
make it more real. When you leave yourself alone,
your natural resilience takes over. You don't have to
change your thinking because thoughts, like clouds
in the sky, are transient.
Wendi is a Coach & Consultant at
It is her joy to point people to their innate health
and mental well being.
Call her for a free conversation
Listen to Wendi Saggese here.
This is the big issue which confronts anyone given
a potentially life-threatening diagnosis. There is of
course the wish to survive, and then the accompa-
nying thought: `what is survivorship for?'
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