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f you are triggered by the title of this article,
please read on. This article is written for those
of you who have been sacrificing yourself and
your well-being to meet all the expectations of
your environment and our society. For those of you
who are wanting to thrive in life but feel tired or
even exhausted by giving too much of yourselves,
always trying to prove that you are "good enough."
Maybe it has been a natural behaviour for you to try
to help, please and care for everybody around you.
And you might take things personally when people
do not care for you the same way. You probably
think it is normal to hardly ever say "no" to others
and always put others first. Or you feel guilty if you
take some time for yourself while you "should" be
doing this or that.
Well, in this article, part 1, you will read my personal
story and how I learned my lesson the hard way.
The only intention I have in telling you about myself
is for you to become aware of the dangers of this
way of living.
In part 2, you will get my view on "chronic
stress" and why it is the silent killer in our society.
And you will get an overview of the process that I
developed so that you can take appropriate action
to shift out of this vicious stress cycle in time. These
tools will help you to regain or keep your balance
and live out of love and worthiness. It will make it
clear to you that "conscious self-care" is not a luxury
but a necessity to live a healthy and thriving life.
Growing up in a loving and caring family, I was
exactly five and a half years old when my little
brother died in his sleep of "cot death" (i.e., sudden
infant death syndrome). It was devastating seeing
my parents, my older sister and the rest of the family
in such distress.
As a highly sensitive child, I unconsciously
decided there and then that I would not ever cause
any pain or suffering to anyone and would do
everything in my power to please others and keep
them safe. I would try to always be a "good" girl.
From that moment forward, I lived my life
for those around me, in my personal life as well as in
my professional life, and was always putting myself
aside. I had no boundaries and was neglecting my
own needs, underestimating the stress it caused me.
The fear of rejection, of "not being good enough",
was a consistent underlying mindset in everything I